On Keeping One’s Virginity for the Wedding Night

Facebook groups are becoming popular and an easy way of wasting ones time killing boredom. Different topics are discussed by individuals from all walks of life and people seem very comfortable sharing their opinions quite freely. A question I pounced on in one of the groups read:

The comments underneath the post varied and you’ll be shocked (or not shocked) at the reactions. Majority simply downplayed the importance of keeping one’s virginity. A guy remarked,

“Why should I waste my honeymoon breaking the virginity of my wife. I want to enjoy and not be hearing moans of pain,” 🤷🏾‍♀️

A lot of women also commented they would like to see, know and ‘taste’ their husbands to ensure they loved the size and its ‘power’ before saying ‘I do.’ 👀

It looks like the subject of keeping one’s virginity is archaic, has expired and simply lost its significance, judging from the remarks of the commentators.

It is very disheartening to know that this is the point we’ve gotten to – a place where sex is being dished out like mere handshakes and abstinence means NOTHING at all.

Yes, I agree that marrying as a virgin does not guarantee a successful marriage but even if you use logic to analyze, keeping your virginity saves you so much stress.

If you are woman, for instance:

1. You may not need a menses/ovulation calculating app when you’re not sexually active.

2. When your menses delay for a couple of days, you’re not that frightened because you know you’ve done ‘nothing.’

3. Abortion, sexually transmitted diseases and birth controls are subjects that won’t even matter to you.

4. You can dump that guy because you haven’t done ‘anything’ with them. This helps you to choose the right partner.

5. Your conscience is always clear.

For the men (yes, yes, you must keep your virginity too):

1. You’ll not connive with any woman to go commit abortion because you aren’t ready to have that child, thus, not living with the guilt.

2. In case she keeps the pregnancy, you’ll not be forced to marry her.

3. Your judgments are also not clouded when it comes to selecting a life partner. You can drop her if she does not meet your criteria.

4. Sexually transmitted diseases, birth control methods are not your worries. You’re indeed a ‘free’ man till you get married.

Don’t allow the world to make you believe that keeping your virginity/abstinence means nothing. What is more beautiful than keeping yourselves for each other till after the marriage ceremony.

The Bible even admonishes us that we shouldn’t deceive ourselves because we’ll definitely reap whatever we sow. Freely dishing out sex to everyone will definitely come with its consequences.

If we (both men and women) would stick to what the Bible has instructed, most of the issues we face in our marriages concerning our sexuality, including, making comparisons with our husband and a previous sexual partner will not even come up. Both of you will enjoy your ‘naivety’ and learn what works best.

If you are at a crossroad, trying to decide whether you should keep your virginity of not, take this from someone who abstained, GUARD IT. It’s worth the wait and will save you a lot of trouble. For those who have lost it for whatever reason, don’t be sad and bitter, you can still protect what you have. If you think it’s a challenge keeping it, the Holy Spirit is always there to help you. Let Him know what your difficulties are. He’ll direct you.

©

Help! I lost my job and I’m in my 40s.

Dear CBG,

I am a bit old. I’m in my 40s and this is not my first job. I’ve done several contract jobs but I knew this job was permanent. I had dreams of retiring from this organisation but just last week, my employers invited me to a meeting and bluntly informed me they were laying me off. I was sad, confused and hurt. I haven’t really saved up so much money because of some projects I’ve been undertaking. Now, look at my age. Who will employ me in their firm? I’m a good Christian and I’m wondering how God can do this to me, especially, at this time. What should I do? I’ll be reading your response.

—- A very worried woman

CBG’s Response

Hello Madam,

To start with, it’s important to note that your situation is not an isolated one neither is this the first time it’s ever happened. This should give you some comfort but how you handle this is crucial to the success of the next phase of your life.

You need, also, to note that age is just a number and it has very little to do with how much you can achieve in this world. There were those who were successful at their early age and those who were, much later in their lives. In the Bible, there are several examples of individuals that God used in their old age. When God called Moses, he was old and well-stricken in age. Moses and Noah were not young either but they were used by God. Take a cue from Col. Sanders who started KFC (a worldwide brand) in his 60’s. This is to emphasize the point that age is only a number. All you need to do is to be smart and wise about your decisions.

God is not the author of your current situation and you need to thank Him for the next phase of your life. Don’t be bitter and sore for losing your job but be grateful for what God has placed in your hands (gift and skills). Instead of displaying negative emotions, gather every positive energy because you’re going to need it.

Practically, you need to make adjustments to your lifestyle because your regular source of income has been cut off. Cut out the unnecessary expenditure and keep to your budget. It may be uncomfortable in the initial stages but you’ll gradually adjust to it.

One question God will pose to you is

“what do you have in your hands?”

Like He posed to Moses. In other words, what are your gifts, skills and, channels that God can use to bless you? You shouldn’t look too far. It could be a simple skill as baking, selling or farming. Even in your 40s, it’s not too late to learn a new skill but it’s advisable to focus on the ones you’ve gathered over the years. You can either decide to work for yourself or for another firm that requires your skills. Your age shouldn’t be a barrier. If you had dreams initially, this is the time to put them to use. Don’t lose hope, we’ll be praying with you.

To our readers who are gainfully employed now, the Bible says Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest (Proverbs 6:6-8).

The ant gathers it’s food in anticipation for the drought. There is a thing as “fat season and lean season” (drawn from Joseph’s interpretation of Pharaoh’s dream – Genesis 41). In simple terms be wise like Joseph who instructed Egypt to store up food during the fat season so they could have some during the lean season. Egypt became the hub of trading because of the wisdom of one man. Be wise especially in your fat season.

Do you have any piece of advice for this woman? Please share in the comment section. She’ll be reading.

Captain Hoks

Lurking in dark alleys like an apparition, he wears a black robe that hangs loosely on his thin frame except for his waist that is defined by the soft fabric serving as a belt. The over-sized hood covering his head makes his face darker, invisible and mysterious. His fingernails are gnarled and dirty and, no sound is heard when he moves but the impact he makes is quite extensive.

His victims – the wise, young, aged, vulnerable and even the strongest because status means nothing to him and his movements are purposeful. Those who encounter him limit their explanation to the tap they experience first on their shoulder that later moves steadily and slowly like a serpent. They feel his hairy hands slither into their clothes till they are rested firmly on the victim’s chest.

The impact – palpitations, cold sweat, dilation of the pupil, nausea and immobility. Delightfully, he watches on and breaks into a smile that reveals the toothless content of his mouth. All this time, his eyes never leave his victim’s and his palms presses more firmly on their chest, causing their hearts to beat faster. He moves a little more confidently this time, till he faces the victim, still maintaining eye-contact.

His most memorable moment – when the victims continue to feel the impact of his touch and try to break eye contact. When they continue to wriggle, moan and cry with indignation. It is at this point that even the most stubborn victims cower. Most of them drop down, sometimes on their knees and at other times, lying face down. Paralyzed and in tears, they plead for escape.

“I can’t do it.”
“I’ll fail.”
“I am scared”
“I’m afraid”

These are the familiar statements uttered by Captain Hok’s victims.

©  

Book Review: Francine Rivers’ ‘The Atonement Child’

A young lady, Dynah, is raped and gets pregnant as a result. Her fiance, who was a pastor in training, her parents, and roommate in college, all Christians, thought the only way out of that ‘dreadful’ situation was for Dynah to abort the ‘unwanted child’ and move on with her life. The Dean of the Christian College, where Dynah was a student and where the incident happened, also thought abortion was the way to go or the young lady had to leave the institution. This book slowly weaves the calamities Dynah had to face as a result of taking the unpopular decision.

‘The Atonement Child’ compared to the two other books I’ve read from this author (The Scarlet Thread and The Shofar Blew) was a bit slow and sad and I felt the writer tried a little too hard to push the theme of the book into the reader’s face. In one family alone, grandmother had had a therapeutic abortion, the mother had had an abortion and the child who had been raped was also being pushed to carry out an abortion. Dynah’s mother’s former schoolmate was also an abortionist and Dynah’s friend in college (Joe) had a girlfriend who had died from committing an abortion. How coincidental can that be?

Perhaps since the story is set in a country where abortion is legal, some of these issues are real and likely to come up in an everyday conversation. That notwithstanding, the theme of this book is very relevant, especially, now that a bill has been passed in New York permitting mothers to abort babies even at the point of birth. One thing this book did so well was to provide the reader with a clear picture of the other side of committing an abortion. The guilt and regret of taking out a life (fetus) may be carried throughout one’s lifetime and that is likely to affect their families and generations. Mostly, abortion is seen as the easiest and direct way of solving the problem of an unwanted pregnancy while the spotlight dims on the emotional and psychological damages this action may have on the women who undergo it.

In Ghana, compared to the US where the story was set, abortion is a criminal offense regulated by Act 29, section 58 of the Criminal code of 1960, amended by PNDCL 102 of 1985. However, section 2 of the law makes exceptions for victims of rape or incest and abortion can be conducted to protect the mental or physical health of the mother, or when there is a malformation of the fetus. According to the Ghana Medical Association, abortion is the leading cause of maternal mortality (15-30%) because many women turn to unqualified providers and receive unsafe procedures (Rominski & Lori, 2015; Chauvkin, Baffoe & Awoonor-William, 2018).

The argument of whether a fetus is a baby yet and the legality/ illegality or the process of carrying out the abortion (safe/unsafe) will always remain and looking at the World’s politics, there will always be a divide but the most important person to take the decision is you, the individual/woman. What exactly do you want and what do you stand by? What would God have you do in that situation? It may seem difficult and challenging at a glance and the straightforward option will be an abortion, but, have you explored other alternatives? You may want to consider putting the child up for adoption and that is possible even in Ghana.

One beautiful trait about the character, Dynah, was how she remained calm amidst all the pressure and kept insisting she wanted to know God’s mind before taking any decision concerning the child in her womb. How many of us, in the midst of the storm, will insist on hearing from God first?

This 384-page book is a must-read and ideal for a book club/discussion.

Favourite Lines from Atonement Child:

Those on the side of abortion were the loudest, the most logical, the most appealing to her bruised and battered spirit. And yet there was another voice, quiet, calm, almost imperceptible, that said NO, THERE’S ANOTHER WAY.

“Well, you tell me how we can do that, Dean. Tell me how on God’s green earth we can dare offer salvation to a dying world when we’re so busy shooting our own wounded.”

– The Atonement Child,

Bibliography

Chavkin, W., Baffoe, P., & Awoonor‐Williams, K. (2018). Implementing safe abortion in Ghana: “We must tell our story and tell it well”. International Journal of Gynecology & Obstetrics143, 25-30.

Rominski, S. D., & Lori, J. R. (2014). Abortion care in Ghana: A critical review of the literature. African journal of reproductive health18(3), 17-35.

©  

In 20 30 40 or 50 – Will you be Ready?

In 20, 30, 40 or 50   
When your brains are tired                                                 
And your bones frail
And your bladder weak
And darkness all you see
When your epidermis sheds
And memory not as sharp
And your teeth begin to fall out
And hair not as pretty
When you can sniff death so close                 
So close you can almost breathe it in your nostrils
Will you be ready?

In 20, 30, 40 or 50
Will your eyes be prepared to shut?
And your spirit to bid the world farewell?
Will the call be received with fear or fulfillment?
And your body be ready to rest in peace?
Or rather in despair, full of regret and anguish?
Frightful and afraid of the coldness of the grave
And uncertain of the life you’ll meet.

What if you do not have 20, 30, 40 or 50?
And your brains never get tired
Your bones still as hard
Your bladder not as weak.
And your sight still perfect.
What if your epidermis is intact
And your memory as sharp as ever.                                                                         
And your teeth so strong to break the bones
And your hair ever so lustrous
Will you still be ready to exit?

If you had 1, 2, 3 or 4
For your spirit to desert this body
But your brains and bones and bladder and sight
and skin and memory and teeth and hair unblemished 
Will you look down and back and smile?
Will the clock stop ticking and the bells stop chiming
and the birds stop chirping?
Will it be noticed that a beautiful soul is lost?

It may not be in 20, 30, 40 or 50
It could be in 1, 2, 3 or 4 
Will you be ready to bid this earth farewell?  
Not in sorrow
But in joy, you’d love to see how the world mourns at your passing.
Will you be ready? 
                                       


©

Help! I Want to Make More Money this year. How do I go about it?

Dear CBG¹,

Before you move on to another blog theme as the month draws to a close, can you please address my question? I want to know how I can land a good job and make more money this year. I am a university graduate who completed with a very good class in 2016. I have been applying for several jobs but do not receive the response I want. As part of my New Year resolution for 2019, I want to land a good job, make money legitimately and be recognised as one of the richest people in my family. How do I do this? I look forward to reading your response.

— A young follower of your blog
Christian Blog Ghana

CBG’s Response

Hello,

Thanks for sending this question but if you only dream of being rich in order to be identified by your family members as such, then you need to revise your thinking. Money should be treated as a means to an end not an end in itself. In other words, there has to be something that the money needs to fuel. You need to have a dream or vision and note that money comes to people who have made themselves valuable to the world. You’ll notice a trend if you study the richest people. Most of them attained that status while giving value to the world. They solved some of the most complex problems and made money as a result. You can take a cue and make yourself valuable by solving a problem i.e. if you dream of being an entrepreneur. Let’s say your gift and passion is to write, find out what value that can bring to society. When that is recognised, then you can go ahead to monetize it. Your gift will initially be given out for free for people to taste of it. When they taste and recognise its value then they’ll be willing to pay for it. Just don’t stop what you are doing as long as you know you are on the right path. Additionally, learn about people in your field and pick lessons on how they’ve been able to monetize their gifts.

You should also answer the question of what grace has made available and receive it by faith. Now to your question on how you can land a good job. In this situation, you have a role to play. Don’t just sit and fold your arms and say,

“it depends on God or if God gives it to me that is ok and if He doesn’t, that is fine.” 

This is a wrong approach. Anybody who wants to find a job and never takes any action will remain jobless.  It is God’s idea for us to do well (Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 25:13) and He blesses us through the works of our hands (Psalm 90:17). That is the assurance and the provision made available by grace but if you do not write applications and send them to the relevant job places and do follow-up visits, then you’ve not got faith. You need to make yourself visible. Let somebody out there know that this young man/woman has this gift or provides this service that can bring value to our company and organisation

Keep working at it and follow-up on your applications. If you read the story about the judge and widow in the Bible (Luke 18:1-8) the widow had to persist for the judge to give in. That is the attitude you should adopt in your job search and your quest to become rich this year. We’ll be praying with you.

Do you have any piece of advice to this reader on how a Christian can make money legitimately? If you do, please share it in the comment box.

CBG¹: Christian Blog Ghana

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Musicians Connect: A Flicker of Hope for Gospel Artists in Ghana

As the popular saying goes, ‘when the music hits you feel no pain’ and there is a sense of fulfilment when an artist produces good music and sees it in the trends. Although this is the desire for every artist not many of them see it fulfilled and especially for gospel artistes in Ghana, many have little knowledge of the appropriate channels to use in promoting and distributing their music. These artists get discouraged and do not pursue their music career as a result of some of these challenges.

There is a group, Musicians Connect with the core objective of aiding gospel artistes in the production, promotion, and distribution of their music. Musicians Connect is inviting church choirs and singers to voice training and interactive sessions with media houses and music promoters on how to enhance the promotion of gospel music online, on radio and TV. This event will be taking place on Saturday, February 9th at the Charismatic Evangelism Ministry, North Legon-Accra.

Musicians Connect is being held in collaboration with television and radio stations across the country, Apprise Music (Music Distributor ) and the Gospel Bloggers Association of Ghana. Ministering at this event are Mary Ghansah, Willie & Mike, Max Praize, Efe Grace, Jackson Quaye, Lil Zig among others.

Tickets are going for a cool GHC 20 and are available at the Silverbird Cinema at the Accra Mall. You can reserve yours by calling any of the numbers: 0507247294, 0240167355, 0548011224

You can also click here the link to buy your ticket.

Content Source: Gospel Bloggers Association