Help! I lost my job and I’m in my 40s.

Dear CBG,

I am a bit old. I’m in my 40s and this is not my first job. I’ve done several contract jobs but I knew this job was permanent. I had dreams of retiring from this organisation but just last week, my employers invited me to a meeting and bluntly informed me they were laying me off. I was sad, confused and hurt. I haven’t really saved up so much money because of some projects I’ve been undertaking. Now, look at my age. Who will employ me in their firm? I’m a good Christian and I’m wondering how God can do this to me, especially, at this time. What should I do? I’ll be reading your response.

—- A very worried woman

CBG’s Response

Hello Madam,

To start with, it’s important to note that your situation is not an isolated one neither is this the first time it’s ever happened. This should give you some comfort but how you handle this is crucial to the success of the next phase of your life.

You need, also, to note that age is just a number and it has very little to do with how much you can achieve in this world. There were those who were successful at their early age and those who were, much later in their lives. In the Bible, there are several examples of individuals that God used in their old age. When God called Moses, he was old and well-stricken in age. Moses and Noah were not young either but they were used by God. Take a cue from Col. Sanders who started KFC (a worldwide brand) in his 60’s. This is to emphasize the point that age is only a number. All you need to do is to be smart and wise about your decisions.

God is not the author of your current situation and you need to thank Him for the next phase of your life. Don’t be bitter and sore for losing your job but be grateful for what God has placed in your hands (gift and skills). Instead of displaying negative emotions, gather every positive energy because you’re going to need it.

Practically, you need to make adjustments to your lifestyle because your regular source of income has been cut off. Cut out the unnecessary expenditure and keep to your budget. It may be uncomfortable in the initial stages but you’ll gradually adjust to it.

One question God will pose to you is

“what do you have in your hands?”

Like He posed to Moses. In other words, what are your gifts, skills and, channels that God can use to bless you? You shouldn’t look too far. It could be a simple skill as baking, selling or farming. Even in your 40s, it’s not too late to learn a new skill but it’s advisable to focus on the ones you’ve gathered over the years. You can either decide to work for yourself or for another firm that requires your skills. Your age shouldn’t be a barrier. If you had dreams initially, this is the time to put them to use. Don’t lose hope, we’ll be praying with you.

To our readers who are gainfully employed now, the Bible says Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest (Proverbs 6:6-8).

The ant gathers it’s food in anticipation for the drought. There is a thing as “fat season and lean season” (drawn from Joseph’s interpretation of Pharaoh’s dream – Genesis 41). In simple terms be wise like Joseph who instructed Egypt to store up food during the fat season so they could have some during the lean season. Egypt became the hub of trading because of the wisdom of one man. Be wise especially in your fat season.

Do you have any piece of advice for this woman? Please share in the comment section. She’ll be reading.

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Help! I Want to Make More Money this year. How do I go about it?

Dear CBG¹,

Before you move on to another blog theme as the month draws to a close, can you please address my question? I want to know how I can land a good job and make more money this year. I am a university graduate who completed with a very good class in 2016. I have been applying for several jobs but do not receive the response I want. As part of my New Year resolution for 2019, I want to land a good job, make money legitimately and be recognised as one of the richest people in my family. How do I do this? I look forward to reading your response.

— A young follower of your blog
Christian Blog Ghana

CBG’s Response

Hello,

Thanks for sending this question but if you only dream of being rich in order to be identified by your family members as such, then you need to revise your thinking. Money should be treated as a means to an end not an end in itself. In other words, there has to be something that the money needs to fuel. You need to have a dream or vision and note that money comes to people who have made themselves valuable to the world. You’ll notice a trend if you study the richest people. Most of them attained that status while giving value to the world. They solved some of the most complex problems and made money as a result. You can take a cue and make yourself valuable by solving a problem i.e. if you dream of being an entrepreneur. Let’s say your gift and passion is to write, find out what value that can bring to society. When that is recognised, then you can go ahead to monetize it. Your gift will initially be given out for free for people to taste of it. When they taste and recognise its value then they’ll be willing to pay for it. Just don’t stop what you are doing as long as you know you are on the right path. Additionally, learn about people in your field and pick lessons on how they’ve been able to monetize their gifts.

You should also answer the question of what grace has made available and receive it by faith. Now to your question on how you can land a good job. In this situation, you have a role to play. Don’t just sit and fold your arms and say,

“it depends on God or if God gives it to me that is ok and if He doesn’t, that is fine.” 

This is a wrong approach. Anybody who wants to find a job and never takes any action will remain jobless.  It is God’s idea for us to do well (Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 25:13) and He blesses us through the works of our hands (Psalm 90:17). That is the assurance and the provision made available by grace but if you do not write applications and send them to the relevant job places and do follow-up visits, then you’ve not got faith. You need to make yourself visible. Let somebody out there know that this young man/woman has this gift or provides this service that can bring value to our company and organisation

Keep working at it and follow-up on your applications. If you read the story about the judge and widow in the Bible (Luke 18:1-8) the widow had to persist for the judge to give in. That is the attitude you should adopt in your job search and your quest to become rich this year. We’ll be praying with you.

Do you have any piece of advice to this reader on how a Christian can make money legitimately? If you do, please share it in the comment box.

CBG¹: Christian Blog Ghana

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Help! My Resolution to Get Married Never Materialises – Worried Lady

Hello CBG¹,

I am 34 years old, gainfully employed but tired of making new resolutions particularly in the area of settling down. In previous years, I made every conscious effort to get married. I have even written down what I would like to see in my dream man. I go through that list every day and I pray for him, but, it’s been six long unsuccessful years of searching for that ‘dream man.’ I am really tired and have decided not to make any resolutions regarding that subject this year. Since you’ve been preaching about planning and making resolutions, what do you advise I do? Should I still make resolutions and get disappointed or simply relax and see what God will do?

– A very worried lady

CBG’s Response

Hello Miss,

Marriage, as an institution, was created by God and His idea for the majority of people. Not everyone will get married, though, but as long as it is in your heart to be married then it is part of what grace has made available to you. The provisions that are given under grace does not work in isolation but work in tandem with faith. Faith is what causes you to receive the things that grace has already made available. Thus, if you say you made a resolution the previous year to be married and it didn’t materialise so you wouldn’t be deliberate about that subject anymore then I’m afraid you are never going to get married. What you need to do is to keep praying and remain visible to the circle of men in your various levels of socialization. Package yourself nicely while keeping the vision and desire alive. Once the vision and desire exist and as long as it is a provision under grace, then it means it is within your reach and you need to lay hold of it by faith. Faith is dead if it is not accomplished with works. The Bible says that if the clouds are full of rain, they empty themselves (Ecclesiastes 11:3). Keep doing what you are doing, remain visible, continue praying and eventually, you’ll find somebody.

Note: In case you were not deliberate about this subject previously, plan to be more visible this year. If your location does not necessarily get you exposed to meeting a man, then you need to go to places where you’ll meet them. Getting to those places will be influenced by your values and the idea of a man who’d like to get married to. It’s good to know you have a perception of who your dream man is but if you find yourself in the wrong places, you’d definitely meet the wrong people. Ensure you go to the right places and are in the right environment so you meet the person you want to be married to. Ruth was deliberate and she met Boaz (Ruth 2).

All the best and remember to invite us to your wedding. ☺️

Do you have any piece of advice to share with this lady? Post it in the comment box.

CBG¹: Christian Blog Ghana

Feature Image Source: Pixabay

Me? A Pastor’s Wife? Never…

Dear Kwesi Broni,

I have been thinking about the conversation we had about a week ago. The one concerning the revelation the mighty prophet had about you – that you were going to be a p-a-s-t-o-r. Yes, that revelation! I told you I was going to think about it. I have thought through it very well, so, below is my response:

Kwesi B., I don’t want to be rude but just take a critical look at me. When you had your vision, did you see me as your wife? Or did the prophet announce to you that I was going to be your ‘Osofo Maame?’ You know I am very popular and don’t have a problem when it comes to receiving love proposals from men. Even as we speak, I have about four pending ones, which I’m reviewing. I decided to give you a chance not because you are the richest or the coolest dude, but, I just did. Did you know you were still on probation all this while? But you have already failed as a result of our last conversation. Anyway, the chance I gave you has expired. I am no longer interested in our ‘assumed’ relationship.

How can you consider me, Akosua Darling, as a pastor’s wife? I am not saying I am above that role because I know some beautiful wives of pastors. Oh, or you are thinking of starving me to death, eh? Kwesi, that won’t happen oo, that wouldn’t happen! If you are looking for someone to fast and pray for the needs of your congregation, why me? Please look for that person that you want to put on a perpetual diet for members of your congregation. As for me, Akosua Darling, I don’t think I have the capacity to intercede for some church members who may even end up gossiping about me. Even as I type this note, I have directed the new pastor, whose church is down the street, the one who advertises on the radio. Yes, that one. I have asked him to fast and pray for me. For your information, I have paid quite a hefty amount for him to achieve the results that I am seeking. Fasting is not one of my favourite hobbies.

Sorry. I digress. So how did I come to mind when you thought of somebody who was going to partner you in your ministry? I have told you several times that as a pastor’s daughter, coupled with what I have seen and experienced, I have vowed never to date, not to talk of marrying a pastor. Why? You think I wouldn’t like to see my husband on a daily or at least, a regular basis? Unlike my mum, who stayed with my dad even though he was absent almost 3/4th of our lives, I wouldn’t like to raise my children alone while you tour Papua New Guinea, Malaysia, Greenland, among others, all in the name of winning souls. I want to close from work, drive to the house to come and meet my husband, so, we have a hearty conversation. I want my husband to be part of my everyday life.

“Akos, if you want to give me a heart attack, then bring a prospective fiance with pastoral ambitions to this house,” my mother has already warned me and you know I am not a disobedient child.

Oh. Did I ever mention to you how some of my friends and I take long looks at our pastor’s wife? In fact, we assess her every day. We know she likes to wear funny shoes and her attire is someway. Her hairstyle, nowadays, makes her look older and we’ve concluded it’s because her husband is never around to compliment her. The other pastor’s wife too, we think she simply overdresses, wears too much makeup and is competing with us, the young ones. She never likes to cover her hair but fixes weave that some of us cannot even afford. What makes you think she is not sponsoring herself with our offertory and tithes?

Eii! and the way some church members can also demand their daily upkeep from pastors? You have been a witness to that eh? They come for their rent, transport fare and school fees from pastors. This implies that our small earning will be used to alleviate poverty among members of your congregation. So I wouldn’t only share you with your members but my money will become the church’s money. Don’t think I am selfish, I only like to protect what is rightfully mine.

So Kwesi B., do you want me to stand behind you in posters and billboards? How can you think of such a thing? Me? Akosua Darling, on a large billboard near the Motorway, standing behind my husband and inviting people to ‘our church.’ I was seriously considering you as a husband but your plans, for me and our future, are making me cry. I want to live a quiet life, probably get married to a rich man but not to someone who will be at the mercy of his congregation and everyone. I wouldn’t know what I will do when people discuss you on traditional and social media. Do you think I don’t see how some people describe pastors and Christians on Facebook? You know I can’t pretend. I may descend to their level and make myself dirty and I know I will be in the trends forever so you, let’s call this relationship off.

In the future, I may come and support your ministry when I am wealthy. Don’t see me as selfish and greedy. In fact, you should thank God I am not being pretentious. You should pay me for my frankness (you can put that in the offertory bowl on Sunday).

However, please read this portion of my letter carefully (you can read it aloud like a confession):

I, Kwesi Broni, will never, ever mention to anyone that Akosua Darling and I were ever in a relationship. I will never get in touch with her again and I won’t even bother to respond to this letter. I am removing her number from my phone contacts. I am unfriending her on Facebook and unfollowing her on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. In fact, starting now, I have deleted her from my memory. I consider her as my forgotten ex and our relationship, dissolved. Dead. Caput. Buried. Drowned in the deepest part of the ocean. I wish her the best in her future endeavours. So help me God!

Thank you for your time. I don’t look forward to hearing from you ever again.

Your ‘dead’ ‘drowned’ and forgotten ex,

Akosua Darling.

Disclaimer: This is purely fictional and does not represent the views of the writer.

Glossary

Osofo Maame: Wife of a Pastor

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To my Husband on our Second Wedding Anniversary 

When you had chicken pox on the eve of our wedding day, I knew our marriage had begun on an interesting note. Yes, we missed our honeymoon because you had to recover from that condition but looking back now, I know it was all of God’s plans.

Several counsellors and marriage books predict that the first few years of marriage are the most difficult but I’m glad to say that we are bent on proving them wrong. You keep saying that our story should be different and our marriage should be seen in God’s eye and not from the world’s system.

Even though we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs, God has been amazing to us. We always manage to pull through challenges and are able to look back with a suitcase full of lessons. I can confidently say my faith in God has increased tremendously because of our marriage and my association with you.

I now understand why counsellors place so much emphasis on developing friendships before jumping into marriage. I also understand the power and the role of communication in marriages. I’m certain that friendship and good communication are directly related. In fact, they are Siamese Twins. 😁 There is also the important role of praying, compromising and sacrificing.

I try to evaluate our marriage from time to time to ascertain if that feeling of ‘love’ is still there. The one with the butterflies fluttering at the bottom of your tummy. Yeah, I do feel it at times but I think my definition and feeling of love has changed over the years. It is now deeper and currently includes being more patient, tolerant, understanding and choosing words more carefully.

Being your supportive wife is also my definition of this new love which sometimes includes trying to educate myself on what is happening in the medical field in order to have meaningful conversations with you. In subsequent years, I hope to fall in love with Manchester United and the guy called Lukaku to the point that when he scores, I will have the urge to jubilate. I also hope to love the EPL, UEFA Champions League (didn’t even know they were two different leagues 😂) and all the other leagues in the world (Spanish, Italian, Chinese etc ). What I also hope to find bearable in the coming years is that Sunday afternoon live commentary on Citi FM.

It’s been two great years and I’m glad we chose each other for this journey. I strongly believe the next couple of years will be super amazing with God being our guide.

With so much love on this special day,

Your one and only sweetheart,

Dela.

A Letter to my one-year-old Daughter 

Dear Charis,

I know you too young to read this, but, here is a chronicle of our mother-daughter relationship in the past year. Here it goes:

You were so good to me during my pregnancy days that a lot of people did not even notice I was expecting a child. No sicknesses, no weight-gain, no tiredness, in fact, I was more active and alive during those nine months. I felt blessed and was anxious to meet this special child who had been so good to me.

Our first meeting wasn’t ‘love at first sight,’ though. My body had undergone too much shock the previous evening, up till the dawn of Sunday, to bring you into this world. All I felt was pain from the stitches down there and relief from those terrible contractions. I experienced a new kind of admiration for all mothers and my love for you developed when I finally recovered from that shock.

Throughout the 368 days, we’ve spent together, I can imagine the sort of woman you’ll grow into. Very vibrant, full-of-life, energetic, sharp and from the way you raise your legs to dance to tunes from adverts on TV, you’ll probably love music or dancing, just like your father. I can imagine you’d be one strong-willed woman from the way you reject food or refuse to sleep when we force you.

I do pick up lessons from you each day, you know. You don’t give up till you are perfect at a particular skill, even if it means falling several times. You forgive easily, by smiling or laughing when we make mistakes and accidents occur. You are obedient and even at this age, you know the things that can make mummy or daddy spark.

I would like you to know you are dear to us.You are our early Christmas and wedding anniversary gift from God.  Grow gracefully into the beautiful woman that God has destined you to be. We love you very much and I look forward to writing more letters to you every year while you grow.😊

Happy birthday to you once again!

With love from your mum and on your dad’s behalf,

The Sogahs

Dear Daddy (a letter to a dead father)

Dear Daddy,

As you might know, Fathers’ Day is approaching here in Ghana. It’s this Sunday, 21st of June and as to how the celebrations got to the third Sunday of June instead of the second, I cannot really tell but I still have this letter for you.

I appreciate the fact that you brought me into this world. I really do because Science has made me understand that it was your semen that fertilised ovaries to begin the conception process in my mum. I do appreciate that a lot. I cannot tell how you treated my mom when she was pregnant because I was not present but since we are both alive and strong, I guess you did not give her too much trouble or else we wouldn’t exist.

I cannot say you didn’t raise me too because if I did, I would be a liar. If for nothing at all your family’s money did – it took me through nursery school all the way to college. I appreciate that because I know most people do not get this kind of opportunity especially when they lose their daddies at a young age.

I don’t know how life would have been if I had had you around especially when I was growing up. Would I have been a daddy’s baby? I don’t know if I would be rushing to you each day to tell you stories about what happened to me during the day or you were going to be that kind of daddy that I would be hiding from. Would you have made that kind of impact I see in most of friends who are always sharing interesting stories about how their dads never spared the rod on them or you wouldn’t have made any difference at all?  I have had a number of males advising me but I do not know how an instruction from you would have sounded like. I am certain that would have made a lot of difference in my life.

Fathers’ Day is only two days away and people will be celebrating the impact their daddies have made in their lives. As usual, I am going to remain silent the entire day and imagine how my life would have been if we had met.

I know we would meet someday, in Heaven for sure (Revelations 21 :4) where I will run straight into your arms for the hug that I have always wanted and for those encouraging words that only daddies know how to give. I will ensure you fill me in on every story that I missed while growing up. Just prepare yourself for that ok…

Your child