Me? A Pastor’s Wife? Never…

Dear Kwesi Broni,

I have been thinking about the conversation we had about a week ago. The one concerning the revelation the mighty prophet had about you – that you were going to be a p-a-s-t-o-r. Yes, that revelation! I told you I was going to think about it. I have thought through it very well, so, below is my response:

Kwesi B., I don’t want to be rude but just take a critical look at me. When you had your vision, did you see me as your wife? Or did the prophet announce to you that I was going to be your ‘Osofo Maame?’ You know I am very popular and don’t have a problem when it comes to receiving love proposals from men. Even as we speak, I have about four pending ones, which I’m reviewing. I decided to give you a chance not because you are the richest or the coolest dude, but, I just did. Did you know you were still on probation all this while? But you have already failed as a result of our last conversation. Anyway, the chance I gave you has expired. I am no longer interested in our ‘assumed’ relationship.

How can you consider me, Akosua Darling, as a pastor’s wife? I am not saying I am above that role because I know some beautiful wives of pastors. Oh, or you are thinking of starving me to death, eh? Kwesi, that won’t happen oo, that wouldn’t happen! If you are looking for someone to fast and pray for the needs of your congregation, why me? Please look for that person that you want to put on a perpetual diet for members of your congregation. As for me, Akosua Darling, I don’t think I have the capacity to intercede for some church members who may even end up gossiping about me. Even as I type this note, I have directed the new pastor, whose church is down the street, the one who advertises on the radio. Yes, that one. I have asked him to fast and pray for me. For your information, I have paid quite a hefty amount for him to achieve the results that I am seeking. Fasting is not one of my favourite hobbies.

Sorry. I digress. So how did I come to mind when you thought of somebody who was going to partner you in your ministry? I have told you several times that as a pastor’s daughter, coupled with what I have seen and experienced, I have vowed never to date, not to talk of marrying a pastor. Why? You think I wouldn’t like to see my husband on a daily or at least, a regular basis? Unlike my mum, who stayed with my dad even though he was absent almost 3/4th of our lives, I wouldn’t like to raise my children alone while you tour Papua New Guinea, Malaysia, Greenland, among others, all in the name of winning souls. I want to close from work, drive to the house to come and meet my husband, so, we have a hearty conversation. I want my husband to be part of my everyday life.

“Akos, if you want to give me a heart attack, then bring a prospective fiance with pastoral ambitions to this house,” my mother has already warned me and you know I am not a disobedient child.

Oh. Did I ever mention to you how some of my friends and I take long looks at our pastor’s wife? In fact, we assess her every day. We know she likes to wear funny shoes and her attire is someway. Her hairstyle, nowadays, makes her look older and we’ve concluded it’s because her husband is never around to compliment her. The other pastor’s wife too, we think she simply overdresses, wears too much makeup and is competing with us, the young ones. She never likes to cover her hair but fixes weave that some of us cannot even afford. What makes you think she is not sponsoring herself with our offertory and tithes?

Eii! and the way some church members can also demand their daily upkeep from pastors? You have been a witness to that eh? They come for their rent, transport fare and school fees from pastors. This implies that our small earning will be used to alleviate poverty among members of your congregation. So I wouldn’t only share you with your members but my money will become the church’s money. Don’t think I am selfish, I only like to protect what is rightfully mine.

So Kwesi B., do you want me to stand behind you in posters and billboards? How can you think of such a thing? Me? Akosua Darling, on a large billboard near the Motorway, standing behind my husband and inviting people to ‘our church.’ I was seriously considering you as a husband but your plans, for me and our future, are making me cry. I want to live a quiet life, probably get married to a rich man but not to someone who will be at the mercy of his congregation and everyone. I wouldn’t know what I will do when people discuss you on traditional and social media. Do you think I don’t see how some people describe pastors and Christians on Facebook? You know I can’t pretend. I may descend to their level and make myself dirty and I know I will be in the trends forever so you, let’s call this relationship off.

In the future, I may come and support your ministry when I am wealthy. Don’t see me as selfish and greedy. In fact, you should thank God I am not being pretentious. You should pay me for my frankness (you can put that in the offertory bowl on Sunday).

However, please read this portion of my letter carefully (you can read it aloud like a confession):

I, Kwesi Broni, will never, ever mention to anyone that Akosua Darling and I were ever in a relationship. I will never get in touch with her again and I won’t even bother to respond to this letter. I am removing her number from my phone contacts. I am unfriending her on Facebook and unfollowing her on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. In fact, starting now, I have deleted her from my memory. I consider her as my forgotten ex and our relationship, dissolved. Dead. Caput. Buried. Drowned in the deepest part of the ocean. I wish her the best in her future endeavours. So help me God!

Thank you for your time. I don’t look forward to hearing from you ever again.

Your ‘dead’ ‘drowned’ and forgotten ex,

Akosua Darling.

Disclaimer: This is purely fictional and does not represent the views of the writer.

Glossary

Osofo Maame: Wife of a Pastor

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To my Husband on our Second Wedding Anniversary 

When you had chicken pox on the eve of our wedding day, I knew our marriage had begun on an interesting note. Yes, we missed our honeymoon because you had to recover from that condition but looking back now, I know it was all of God’s plans.

Several counsellors and marriage books predict that the first few years of marriage are the most difficult but I’m glad to say that we are bent on proving them wrong. You keep saying that our story should be different and our marriage should be seen in God’s eye and not from the world’s system.

Even though we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs, God has been amazing to us. We always manage to pull through challenges and are able to look back with a suitcase full of lessons. I can confidently say my faith in God has increased tremendously because of our marriage and my association with you.

I now understand why counsellors place so much emphasis on developing friendships before jumping into marriage. I also understand the power and the role of communication in marriages. I’m certain that friendship and good communication are directly related. In fact, they are Siamese Twins. 😁 There is also the important role of praying, compromising and sacrificing.

I try to evaluate our marriage from time to time to ascertain if that feeling of ‘love’ is still there. The one with the butterflies fluttering at the bottom of your tummy. Yeah, I do feel it at times but I think my definition and feeling of love has changed over the years. It is now deeper and currently includes being more patient, tolerant, understanding and choosing words more carefully.

Being your supportive wife is also my definition of this new love which sometimes includes trying to educate myself on what is happening in the medical field in order to have meaningful conversations with you. In subsequent years, I hope to fall in love with Manchester United and the guy called Lukaku to the point that when he scores, I will have the urge to jubilate. I also hope to love the EPL, UEFA Champions League (didn’t even know they were two different leagues 😂) and all the other leagues in the world (Spanish, Italian, Chinese etc ). What I also hope to find bearable in the coming years is that Sunday afternoon live commentary on Citi FM.

It’s been two great years and I’m glad we chose each other for this journey. I strongly believe the next couple of years will be super amazing with God being our guide.

With so much love on this special day,

Your one and only sweetheart,

Dela.

A Letter to my one-year-old Daughter 

Dear Charis,

I know you too young to read this, but, here is a chronicle of our mother-daughter relationship in the past year. Here it goes:

You were so good to me during my pregnancy days that a lot of people did not even notice I was expecting a child. No sicknesses, no weight-gain, no tiredness, in fact, I was more active and alive during those nine months. I felt blessed and was anxious to meet this special child who had been so good to me.

Our first meeting wasn’t ‘love at first sight,’ though. My body had undergone too much shock the previous evening, up till the dawn of Sunday, to bring you into this world. All I felt was pain from the stitches down there and relief from those terrible contractions. I experienced a new kind of admiration for all mothers and my love for you developed when I finally recovered from that shock.

Throughout the 368 days, we’ve spent together, I can imagine the sort of woman you’ll grow into. Very vibrant, full-of-life, energetic, sharp and from the way you raise your legs to dance to tunes from adverts on TV, you’ll probably love music or dancing, just like your father. I can imagine you’d be one strong-willed woman from the way you reject food or refuse to sleep when we force you.

I do pick up lessons from you each day, you know. You don’t give up till you are perfect at a particular skill, even if it means falling several times. You forgive easily, by smiling or laughing when we make mistakes and accidents occur. You are obedient and even at this age, you know the things that can make mummy or daddy spark.

I would like you to know you are dear to us.You are our early Christmas and wedding anniversary gift from God.  Grow gracefully into the beautiful woman that God has destined you to be. We love you very much and I look forward to writing more letters to you every year while you grow.😊

Happy birthday to you once again!

With love from your mum and on your dad’s behalf,

The Sogahs

Dear Daddy (a letter to a dead father)

Dear Daddy,

As you might know, Fathers’ Day is approaching here in Ghana. It’s this Sunday, 21st of June and as to how the celebrations got to the third Sunday of June instead of the second, I cannot really tell but I still have this letter for you.

I appreciate the fact that you brought me into this world. I really do because Science has made me understand that it was your semen that fertilised ovaries to begin the conception process in my mum. I do appreciate that a lot. I cannot tell how you treated my mom when she was pregnant because I was not present but since we are both alive and strong, I guess you did not give her too much trouble or else we wouldn’t exist.

I cannot say you didn’t raise me too because if I did, I would be a liar. If for nothing at all your family’s money did – it took me through nursery school all the way to college. I appreciate that because I know most people do not get this kind of opportunity especially when they lose their daddies at a young age.

I don’t know how life would have been if I had had you around especially when I was growing up. Would I have been a daddy’s baby? I don’t know if I would be rushing to you each day to tell you stories about what happened to me during the day or you were going to be that kind of daddy that I would be hiding from. Would you have made that kind of impact I see in most of friends who are always sharing interesting stories about how their dads never spared the rod on them or you wouldn’t have made any difference at all?  I have had a number of males advising me but I do not know how an instruction from you would have sounded like. I am certain that would have made a lot of difference in my life.

Fathers’ Day is only two days away and people will be celebrating the impact their daddies have made in their lives. As usual, I am going to remain silent the entire day and imagine how my life would have been if we had met.

I know we would meet someday, in Heaven for sure (Revelations 21 :4) where I will run straight into your arms for the hug that I have always wanted and for those encouraging words that only daddies know how to give. I will ensure you fill me in on every story that I missed while growing up. Just prepare yourself for that ok…

Your child

Dear Family – A Letter to the Family I Never Had

Whenever I hear or see families do things together, I develop a heavy heart and start to imagine how life would have been if I had a real family with a mum, a dad and siblings living all under roof.

I did not grow up like that. Life started throwing bitter pills down my throat at quite an early age. I had no choice but to swallow them as and when they came.  I went to live with mum’s relatives when I was about six years and dad died when I was eight years old.

If you are a Ghanaian, you may have an idea of how it feels when you do not live with real family. I never had any idea of what real family was till I met a Christian one later in life.  They did almost everything together – cared for each other, they prayed and worshiped God together and most importantly, they had real communication with one another – each person knew what the other was going through at every point.

After I met with this family, I started imagining how it will feel like to have a family that really loved and cared for each other. We need to thank God for the families He has provided us in our various churches today. If you have not had a real family, I believe the church is the best place where you can find love and a sense of belonging – the kind of love that Jesus wants us to have for one another.

Back in the day of the Apostles, those who received Christ got baptized, came together, sold their possessions and divided it among themselves as anyone had the need. They did that continuously and with gladness and praising God, and do you know what the Lord did for them? According to the last part of Acts 2:47, God added to the Church daily. This, I believe is the simple formula for church growth.

To those who have real families like the one I described earlier, use today to thank God for their lives and to those who have not had ‘real’ families, do not forget the church is a place where you can find a family. To members in churches of all denominations, let us use the example of the Apostles in the book of Acts to create that atmosphere which will draw more people to Church and closer to God. Let us learn to show love to one another by sharing what we have.

Do you have a real life testimony of what God has used the church to do in your life? As usual, we would love to hear from you. Our email address is christianblogghana@gmail.com