I Wish…

How I wish I could hold you 
To provide you with the comfort that you need
To tell you everything is going to be alright 
But that seems impossible

I wish I could embrace you
To assure you that I understand
That I've been through a similar experience
But the circumstances are dissimilar

I wish I could be by your side
To hold your hands and look into your eyes
To assess if indeed you are telling the truth
when you say you're fine

I wish I could give you all that you need
To replace all that you've lost
In order to ease the pain 
But I know that wouldn't bring her back

Life has a way of dealing with us on individual bases
To unleash the strength that lies within
and time has the power to heal us
of wounds, hurts and troubles

My wishes will be the words of my prayer 
That God gives you the healing, strength and respite 
that you desire to navigate these hard times
For this is all I'm capable of.

Today marks Day 11 of the 21 day blog challenge and it’s a free day (no blog topic) and I thought of writing this piece to a dear friend who lost her mum a few weeks ago.

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No Pets Allowed Please!

We had lovely dogs that we kept for commercial purposes (the males mated other dogs while we sold off the puppies of the females). It was a lucrative business. We kept rottweilers and boerboels and I loved their puppies. They were fluffy, playful and were my tiny friends until we sold them off. The older ones also served as guards and we mostly kept about three dogs at a time.

It was all nice until we had a new puppy – a rottweiler. It came in sickly and we nursed it back to good health. Suddenly, the once-sickly puppy that had grown healthy would growl and attempt to bite anyone that went close to it, except my cousin whom it was familiar it. The rot claimed it couldn’t recognise any of us and kept being hostile towards us.

We got a new set of puppies after this one but they all seemed to follow in the footprint of the unfriendly dog. Whenever we went out and came late, we called my cousin to put them away before we could enter our own home. The dogs became more of the home owners while we gave them the space they required.

They changed my perception about dogs entirely. I do not like kittens either. My cousin does not keep any dogs and I have no dogs in my home too. If I am to chose a dog, I would want to know its parents. I don’t want a pet that would take over my home. For now, no pets allowed please.

Day 10 of #lockdown blog challenge and the subject is puppies or kittens (whichever way you imagine it to mean)

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An Ode of Gratitude

Lungs.Ear.Nose.Throat.
A miracle, if they function.
For which I am grateful.

Love.Joy.Peace.Hope.
Almost impossible to have now.
But full is mine.

Husband.Child.Family.Friends.
All under partial lock down.
Yet not socially apart.  

Job.Income.Great boss.
People losing these
But my case is different. 

God.Prayer.Worship.Church. 
We'd have lost our minds
But you've kept us sane.

Science.Medicine.Technology.Government.
Taking the hard decisions now.
To you, we are grateful. 

A Tribute to my Exes

The topic for today’s lock down blog challenge took me to over six years ago when I first wrote on this and posted on my personal blog. I am tweaking it a little and I hope it makes the same kind of impact that it did when I first shared. I am going to use colours to represent the exes so here we go:

Dear Brown,

You were kind, lovely and belonged to such a wonderful family, very large for that matter.  Speaking about your family, your little sister thought I was a threat. She was envious of all the attention I was receiving from you. We both nursed ambitions of going to the university, finding jobs and making our relationship official but all of a sudden, I lost interest. I lost interest even before I accepted your proposal. I guess our attempt at the relationship took a nose dive. Our conversations had become too monotonous and it was as if there was nothing new to discuss. You felt like a broken record to me and I had to bow out. Thank you for accepting the ‘break up’ without a fight. I believe your sister now has you to herself. No more competition from me.

Dear Blue,

You came into my life in such a dramatic fashion. We exchanged email addresses and you acted caring in the beginning.  I became interested. It was fun with you – the regular outings, the gifts and the frequent phone calls. You taught me so many things- some good and others- things I don’t want to remember but they were learning experiences for me. Our conversations centered on a particular theme- your dad and how you did not know what to do with him. You were quite demanding – demanding too much of me and my time. I am not blaming you entirely for everything that went wrong but you were so much fun in the initial stages. I saw you recently and you looked all grown but it seemed you had suffered from some sort of amnesia. You had forgotten all about me and I saw how you struggled to remember my name. It was quite amazing, because our relationship lasted over six months so I wondered how you’ve forgotten so quickly. I guess that was how ‘important’ I was to you.

Dear Black,

I met you in the same dramatic fashion as I did with Blue. Both of you came into my life as if you were offering me some help. I remember a few things about your – your height (petite), your family’s preference for a group from a particular region, which unfortunately wasn’t mine and your crazy philosophies too. I also remember you liked books. Yes, now I remember. Our first date was at the bookstore. I went with you to get a book. You also loved to call at dawn, after you had finished studying. Our relationship ended in the most dramatic way like the way it started. Something that I know you have regretted so much. I haven’t regretted. In fact, I am cool with it. I really would not have known how it would have been, since you claim your did not like me. It was great knowing you and I still remember the loan you took from me but never repaid. I haven’t forgotten but I hold no grudges.

Dear Red,

I didn’t know I would be sitting behind my laptop writing something about you in this fashion. My breakup with you was the messiest, since the whole world knew about us. We were an item back then. Our chemistry was based on a passion we both shared and that became the subject matter of our conversations. Though, I wanted our relationship to be on the quiet side, you went public with it. No wonder all eyes were on us- wondering where our relationship was headed. I could not take the pressure and I reconsidered the decision of being in a relationship with you. I concluded it was not love, but admiration. I admired your passion for excellence and achievements. You were also demanding and gave me so much pressure. Our relationship was more of a full-time course and it was difficult understanding you. I think I matured most during our relationship. Too bad it ended that way but, I still remember you.

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Discovery of the Week: New Blogs

The past six days have been awesome and even though almost the whole world is under lock down, praying and scheming about the next post for this blog (under the #21DayBloggingChallenge) are the two activities that have kept me going. I always find myself looking at the next prompt and imagining what form I should write it in. The most challenging topic, for me so far, has been the good, the bad and the ugly.

I also look forward to reading what other bloggers have put up and in the past six days, I have discovered some amazing Eastern and Southern African bloggers who are also taking up the challenge:

  1. Lisa is always the first to write on the subject for the day. Her posts are very interactive and I especially enjoyed reading the five items on her bucket list.
  2. Ernest is the funny guy who always adds a twist to the subject. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed his posts, particularly, his confessions.
  3. Beatonm is not strictly part of the challenge but always throws in some posts here and there.
  4. Madaz_Wacho (her twitter handle) who is the initiator of the lock down blog challenge has written some amazing stuff also. I particularly enjoyed her post appreciating her mum for leaving her abusive marriage. That was intense.
  5. Jenaguru’s blog has churned out some good short stories in the past week. I enjoyed the one on the good, the bad and the ugly.

It’s been a fantastic challenge so far. Thanks to the other bloggers taking part in the challenge too. You have spiced up what could have possibly been a boring lock down.

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What if…? (If He was a man)

What if…? is that mysterious man with the superhuman strength that everyone in the community revers seems to be afraid of. Tales are told of how he has disfigured the faces of the strongest men, made folly of the proud women and even disarmed soldiers who attempted to get close. As for the little children, the fables they’ve heard are enough to keep them away.

What if…? lives on the peak of highest mountain overlooking the town, where nobody abides. His house may seem haunted, his bed, as we are told, is made of steel. His kitchen has the biggest hearth with the biggest fire you can ever imagine. That is where he puts the cauldron used to boil disobedient children. His dam is what has cut water supply to the rest of the town.

“Do you want to loose your teeth or your limbs?” the older folks always ask when they sense someone is seeking to challenge What if…?

The large tract of land that surrounds his house is fallow yet nobody in the town has attempted to conduct any activity there.

“Are you building close to …?” they stammer, pointing to the mountaintop but unable to mention his name.

What if..? could have easily vied for the topmost leadership position in the community, as some say, because he is the wisest, strongest and the most knowledgeable. No town will conquer ours, in times of war, if he is made the leader. Why he is still not among the leadership is still a mystery.

We have heard so many stories that are enough to put fear into us but as I narrate the story of What if…? I haven’t had any personal encounter with him yet. I am not the only one who hasn’t. None of my friends have had any either.

These stories I tell are what I’ve heard from my father. I confronted him the other day to know if indeed What if..? is as strong as the town makes us believe. That was when he confessed he has never set his eyes on What if..?? He directed me to Grandpa. When I posed the question to him, he also responded he has never met What if…?

Perhaps the town’s sage may have encountered him. The sage is the oldest man in the town. He is known to have fought in World War I and has answers to some of the most absurd questions. I was confident when I walked up to him and posed the puzzling question.

“I know he lives on the mountaintop but nobody has ever set their eyes on him,” the town sage responded

“So you haven’t seen him too,” I whispered, too shocked to speak.

“My dear, I haven’t,” he admitted.

It was then that it struck me. Is it minutely possible that What if..? may not exist at all? Would I be right to believe that the tale of this strong man may be in the imagination of the towns folks? I am not sure but I may find out one day. That will be the day that I will gather courage to climb the highest mountain of the town and take a peep into What if’s..? house. If I come back alive, I will have the answer to my question.

Until then, “What if…? is the wisest, strongest and the most knowledgeable in this town.” Please don’t tell anyone that I haven’t met him yet.

This is Day 6 of the 21-day lock down blogging challenge and the writing prompt is ‘What if?

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The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

No situation is permanent, a popular saying directed to the hopeless to give them hope. 
Unfortunately, its implication transcends to the good situation as well. 
The bad may not last so is the good, in some cases.  

When enjoying the good, the demeanor and fervent wish is for it to last forever but that does not always happen.
The good sometimes gives way to the bad and even the ugly. 

There are times that the bad feels like a dark cloud. 
They swallow the good and suddenly, the young dies or the old gets sick; limps are amputated and the once vibrant breadwinner loses his daily income.The situation gets real ugly.

Instances like these break our hearts and we ask when they will end. 
We pray earnestly but sometimes the prayers seem to hit the roof and fall back onto our heads. 
The days become longer during the bad and ugly days and the future may seem bleak.

The same way the good situations give way to real bad and ugly ones,
bad and ugly situations also give way to the good and beautiful.
For there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

The situation may currently look real bad but something beautiful is springing forth. Keep the faith and don't lose hope!

This is the fifth of the 21-day lock down blogging challenge and the subject is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.’ After researching, I found that ‘The Good, The Bad and the Ugl’y is the title of a movie released in the 60s. Honestly, I don’t know what this challenge wants us to write about but I hope I did a good job, though.

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