On Keeping One’s Virginity for the Wedding Night

Facebook groups are becoming popular and an easy way of wasting ones time killing boredom. Different topics are discussed by individuals from all walks of life and people seem very comfortable sharing their opinions quite freely. A question I pounced on in one of the groups read:

The comments underneath the post varied and you’ll be shocked (or not shocked) at the reactions. Majority simply downplayed the importance of keeping one’s virginity. A guy remarked,

“Why should I waste my honeymoon breaking the virginity of my wife. I want to enjoy and not be hearing moans of pain,” 🤷🏾‍♀️

A lot of women also commented they would like to see, know and ‘taste’ their husbands to ensure they loved the size and its ‘power’ before saying ‘I do.’ 👀

It looks like the subject of keeping one’s virginity is archaic, has expired and simply lost its significance, judging from the remarks of the commentators.

It is very disheartening to know that this is the point we’ve gotten to – a place where sex is being dished out like mere handshakes and abstinence means NOTHING at all.

Yes, I agree that marrying as a virgin does not guarantee a successful marriage but even if you use logic to analyze, keeping your virginity saves you so much stress.

If you are woman, for instance:

1. You may not need a menses/ovulation calculating app when you’re not sexually active.

2. When your menses delay for a couple of days, you’re not that frightened because you know you’ve done ‘nothing.’

3. Abortion, sexually transmitted diseases and birth controls are subjects that won’t even matter to you.

4. You can dump that guy because you haven’t done ‘anything’ with them. This helps you to choose the right partner.

5. Your conscience is always clear.

For the men (yes, yes, you must keep your virginity too):

1. You’ll not connive with any woman to go commit abortion because you aren’t ready to have that child, thus, not living with the guilt.

2. In case she keeps the pregnancy, you’ll not be forced to marry her.

3. Your judgments are also not clouded when it comes to selecting a life partner. You can drop her if she does not meet your criteria.

4. Sexually transmitted diseases, birth control methods are not your worries. You’re indeed a ‘free’ man till you get married.

Don’t allow the world to make you believe that keeping your virginity/abstinence means nothing. What is more beautiful than keeping yourselves for each other till after the marriage ceremony.

The Bible even admonishes us that we shouldn’t deceive ourselves because we’ll definitely reap whatever we sow. Freely dishing out sex to everyone will definitely come with its consequences.

If we (both men and women) would stick to what the Bible has instructed, most of the issues we face in our marriages concerning our sexuality, including, making comparisons with our husband and a previous sexual partner will not even come up. Both of you will enjoy your ‘naivety’ and learn what works best.

If you are at a crossroad, trying to decide whether you should keep your virginity of not, take this from someone who abstained, GUARD IT. It’s worth the wait and will save you a lot of trouble. For those who have lost it for whatever reason, don’t be sad and bitter, you can still protect what you have. If you think it’s a challenge keeping it, the Holy Spirit is always there to help you. Let Him know what your difficulties are. He’ll direct you.

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The Rendezvous II

The Rendezvous continues…

Life always seems to take a different turn when you least expect it to. The seemingly harmless hug from the youth leader was sudden but it did have an effect on you. You enjoyed it partly, maybe, the portion of your brain that controlled irrational behaviour did enjoy it. Meanwhile, the portion of your brain that senses danger instructed you to run away from him. Run as fast as your legs could carry you and forget about those young intoxicated Christians you had just encountered.

While contemplating on your next line of action, youth leader pulled you away, held your hand and directed you out of the auditorium and from the stares of the young group who seemed intrigued by the gesture. You both walked into the clear night and found a patch of grass not too far from the church building but away from all interruptions. You fought very hard to keep your imaginations from running wild but the adventurous part of you wanted to unravel the mystery of this man’s calmness. He did not have it all but anytime you spoke with him, he never complained. He seemed hopeful of the future. You sometimes wondered what his actual age was because he seemed too mature to be 26 years. It was probably the way he was brought up.

“Are you okay, now?” he asked

That question brought you back from your stupor.

“Huh? Oh yes. I am better. Just a little cold,” you responded.

“Here. Take my coat,” he offered

You take it without any hesitation and kept wondering how the evening was going to end. You were gradually beginning to warm up to him. He seemed kind. You probably hadn’t made time to get to know him.

“I am sorry for what happened back there,” you blurted out, pointing to the church. “I guess I hadn’t encountered as many excited Christians as I did today.”

“I understand. We get that reaction from a lot of people. I can assure you we are not pretending. What you witnessed is how we truly feel about God. We love Him and that is how we express it,” he said, looking straight at you.

“I was also a reserved Christian, just like you. I loved to keep to myself. I did not want people to know I was a believer. Let’s just say I was shy to admit it but one encounter changed that perception. It made me confident in who I was and I am not ashamed to share that. It created this change that you see in me and with the others,” he added, gesturing towards the church.

You wondered what may have caused that change in him. You were not only interested in his story but becoming more attracted to the storyteller. He seemed mysterious and you liked it. It was going to be a long night, you admitted. You should probably call your mum to inform her not to wait for you. You got up and stretched your hand towards him. He grabbed it while the two of you walked away from the church premises.

“It all started when…” youth leader narrated.

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