Tag: Christian Marriage

5 Actions that Kill Relationships

For the past couple of weeks, we have been describing various ways of building relationships. While we build them up, it is important to keep in mind that there are certain actions that can also kill these relationships. Below are five such killers:

1. Introducing your partner to everyone in the early stages: In their excitement, a number of couples announce their relationships too quickly to the world which isn’t a bad idea but the best thing to do is to build the foundations properly before introducing yourselves to friends, family, work colleagues, etc. The more you introduce third parties, the more you open the relationship to varied opinions which may be contrary to what you saw in each other. You may second guess and that could be disastrous for your relationship.

2. Announcing on social media: One of the deadliest actions which kills relationships is this. We know we must have faith as Christians but changing your relationship status or the display or profile photos to your partner’s does nothing but attract attention to you and your partner. What if you announce on social media and the relationship does not go as planned? As much as possible, let us keep our relationships to ourselves. They are private and not meant for the world.

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3. Avoiding early warnings: Most of the time when we fall in love, our brains go on vacation 🙂 We avoid all the signs and allow our hearts to lead us. This guy is not generous; everything he acquires is for him. The lady spends all the money she acquires on clothes and make-up. You know you would have preferred the opposite but you are allowing your heart to lead you. These signs develop to something different and they kill relationships.

4. Not investing in the relationship: Building a relationship requires time, money and creativity. If you know you do not want to invest in any of these then don’t start one. You need to spend time with each other and on each other. The Bible mentions that in Proverbs 21:26 – the righteous gives and does not hold back.

5. Fornication: Most young people quickly give in to sex in the relationship. Guilt from the encounter normally kills what has been developed earlier. Having sex also takes away the innocence of the couple. Sex is addictive;  it has the power to take away a lot of things from the relationship including the time that the couple spend discussing and planning for the future. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, the Bible warns, Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.

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What to Consider Before Accepting a Proposal

In the previous post, we discussed the various factors that contributed to making a Christian relationship work. Apart from praying, keeping a checklist and developing the friendship, there are other factors that come into play for a relationship to progress and they will be considered in this post.

Friendship development in the early stages of the relationship cannot be understated. Ensure you are friends and to test if you are ready to move the relationship from one stage to the other, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Will I be able to have all kinds of conversations with him?
  • Can I really call him/her a friend?
  • Do I care so much to help him out when he is in need?
  • Will I be able to introduce him to my family and friends?

In accepting the proposal, you have to bear in mind that you will not go back on your words. Deuteronomy 23:23 says, “You shall be careful to do what has passed your lips, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth.” Keep the promise.

Nobody is perfect. Even the most handsome, richest Christians may have an issue or two. Make up your mind that you are going to help him/her solve their problems and you will not run away 🙂

If you know you look for the nearest exit immediately a problem rears its head then don’t accept the proposal.  Do not test the waters, as some ladies end up doing. Be certain, before you take any step. Yes, counselors advise it is better to break up a relationship than marriage but don’t also lead a person on if you aren’t certain about them. When the guy proposes to you, tell them you are thinking and praying about it. Commit it to pray. Get convicted. It can take days and even months or years. If the person is the one you are meant to be with, they will wait for you and the relationship will surely work out. The Bible even testifies to in Romans 8:28 that “All things work together for good for they that love Him.”

It is important to seek the face of God especially regarding issues such as who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. As a lady, don’t be moved by the looks of the guy or his money or the fact that you are growing older and that person could be your only choice. Ask God, get convicted before accepting that proposal.