A Tribute to my Exes

The topic for today’s lock down blog challenge took me to over six years ago when I first wrote on this and posted on my personal blog. I am tweaking it a little and I hope it makes the same kind of impact that it did when I first shared. I am going to use colours to represent the exes so here we go:

Dear Brown,

You were kind, lovely and belonged to such a wonderful family, very large for that matter.  Speaking about your family, your little sister thought I was a threat. She was envious of all the attention I was receiving from you. We both nursed ambitions of going to the university, finding jobs and making our relationship official but all of a sudden, I lost interest. I lost interest even before I accepted your proposal. I guess our attempt at the relationship took a nose dive. Our conversations had become too monotonous and it was as if there was nothing new to discuss. You felt like a broken record to me and I had to bow out. Thank you for accepting the ‘break up’ without a fight. I believe your sister now has you to herself. No more competition from me.

Dear Blue,

You came into my life in such a dramatic fashion. We exchanged email addresses and you acted caring in the beginning.  I became interested. It was fun with you – the regular outings, the gifts and the frequent phone calls. You taught me so many things- some good and others- things I don’t want to remember but they were learning experiences for me. Our conversations centered on a particular theme- your dad and how you did not know what to do with him. You were quite demanding – demanding too much of me and my time. I am not blaming you entirely for everything that went wrong but you were so much fun in the initial stages. I saw you recently and you looked all grown but it seemed you had suffered from some sort of amnesia. You had forgotten all about me and I saw how you struggled to remember my name. It was quite amazing, because our relationship lasted over six months so I wondered how you’ve forgotten so quickly. I guess that was how ‘important’ I was to you.

Dear Black,

I met you in the same dramatic fashion as I did with Blue. Both of you came into my life as if you were offering me some help. I remember a few things about your – your height (petite), your family’s preference for a group from a particular region, which unfortunately wasn’t mine and your crazy philosophies too. I also remember you liked books. Yes, now I remember. Our first date was at the bookstore. I went with you to get a book. You also loved to call at dawn, after you had finished studying. Our relationship ended in the most dramatic way like the way it started. Something that I know you have regretted so much. I haven’t regretted. In fact, I am cool with it. I really would not have known how it would have been, since you claim your did not like me. It was great knowing you and I still remember the loan you took from me but never repaid. I haven’t forgotten but I hold no grudges.

Dear Red,

I didn’t know I would be sitting behind my laptop writing something about you in this fashion. My breakup with you was the messiest, since the whole world knew about us. We were an item back then. Our chemistry was based on a passion we both shared and that became the subject matter of our conversations. Though, I wanted our relationship to be on the quiet side, you went public with it. No wonder all eyes were on us- wondering where our relationship was headed. I could not take the pressure and I reconsidered the decision of being in a relationship with you. I concluded it was not love, but admiration. I admired your passion for excellence and achievements. You were also demanding and gave me so much pressure. Our relationship was more of a full-time course and it was difficult understanding you. I think I matured most during our relationship. Too bad it ended that way but, I still remember you.

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Discovery of the Week: New Blogs

The past six days have been awesome and even though almost the whole world is under lock down, praying and scheming about the next post for this blog (under the #21DayBloggingChallenge) are the two activities that have kept me going. I always find myself looking at the next prompt and imagining what form I should write it in. The most challenging topic, for me so far, has been the good, the bad and the ugly.

I also look forward to reading what other bloggers have put up and in the past six days, I have discovered some amazing Eastern and Southern African bloggers who are also taking up the challenge:

  1. Lisa is always the first to write on the subject for the day. Her posts are very interactive and I especially enjoyed reading the five items on her bucket list.
  2. Ernest is the funny guy who always adds a twist to the subject. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed his posts, particularly, his confessions.
  3. Beatonm is not strictly part of the challenge but always throws in some posts here and there.
  4. Madaz_Wacho (her twitter handle) who is the initiator of the lock down blog challenge has written some amazing stuff also. I particularly enjoyed her post appreciating her mum for leaving her abusive marriage. That was intense.
  5. Jenaguru’s blog has churned out some good short stories in the past week. I enjoyed the one on the good, the bad and the ugly.

It’s been a fantastic challenge so far. Thanks to the other bloggers taking part in the challenge too. You have spiced up what could have possibly been a boring lock down.

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3 of my Worst Secrets Exposed

While growing, I used to be one of the cool kids who teased and laughed at people but today, as part of the #21daybloggingchallenge, I am to make three confessions of my choice. In other words, I need to disclose some secrets about me – these confessions may either surprise or make you laugh but I hope it’ll serve as an avenue for you know to the personality behind this blog. The Bible admonishes us to confess our sins to one another and today, I am ready to be peel off my facade before my readers:

Confession #3: My Addiction to Ice

I crave and love to chew the frosty ice that hangs from the back of the fridge. Even though I have researched and found that this may be a symptom of anaemia (pagophagia), I still chew ice. When the weather is warm or cold, I chew some ice and I have been like this for a couple of years. I take a spoon and hunt for ice and I am never cognizant of the time of day – it can be at dawn, morning, noon or night. I started coughing recently and that pushed me to google the signs and symptoms of COVID_19 again, forgetting that the cough may be traced to my ice-eating habit. I have slowed down a bit though. I wouldn’t want to cough or develop a cold in these times.

Confession #2: I have gotten angry at God a couple of times

As a Christian and Christian blogger, you may not fathom how this could be possible but there have been certain periods in my life when I have gotten angry at God because I had certain expectations and they weren’t met. One of such moments was when my thesis was referred in graduate school. I took my work from the school, sat under a tree and simply wept. I looked at the financial situation of my family then, my little girl who was not even a year old and the fact that I had no job and still had to pay some fees in order to complete the course before graduating and I felt bewildered. In my mind, I had done a lot of ‘good things’ for God and did no understand how this could happen. I got angry and for about two weeks, I could not read the comments of the examiners nor pray nor do anything. I was simply numb but as the days went by, the pain and burden lessened and I forgave myself and God too (I am certain God had a good laugh).

Confession #1: I no longer experience ‘lovey-dovey’ feeling when I attend weddings

Before I got married (a little over four years ago) I loved weddings and when I sat through those ceremonies, all I could imagine was love, affection and all those butterfly-in-the-tummy feelings. I could imagine myself getting married and everything ending happily-ever-after. Pause right there. That was back then but a lot has changed over the years for me and now, when I attend weddings I pray for the ceremony to end quickly. The drama that accompanies these ceremonies, to me are no longer ‘beeeauutiful’ as they used to be. The romanticized feeling that I had years back has simply vanished. I spend more time praying for the couple who are getting married and trusting God that the union lasts. When I see people who have been married for long, I see two hardworking couples who are trusting God and fighting through the marriage journey and not people who are just chilling. This confession does not mean you shouldn’t invite me to your wedding. lol

What are some of your secrets? Would you like to share them? Let us know in the comment box.

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5 Items on my Bucket List

Bucket lists are activities or ideas one wishes to implement before they die. Do I have five things I would like to do before I die? That is quite challenging to answer but for now, these activities are what come to mind:

  1. Take a leisure walk on the Osu-Oxford street – One day, I would like to dress casually, preferably, put on a simple pair of slippers and take a walk on the Osu Oxford Street. To readers who are not familiar with this neighbourhood, Osu Oxford Street in Accra-Ghana, is your typical urban area that has good restaurants lined up on both sides of the street. I would love to sample all the foods served in the eating places lined up on this street.
  2. Become a Full-time Blogger – Another thing I would like to do at a point in time is to be a full-time blogger. I dream of keeping several blogs on different subjects and posting content on them regularly. I will not care too much about the incentives that come with blogging but I will only write because I love it when people read what I have shared.
  3. Author a Christian Novel – I would love to be a renowned author of a Christian novel that would have its setting right here in Ghana. This is a project I have been contemplating on undertaking for a while but I haven’t put into action yet.
  4. Take a real vacation – I dream of taking a long vacation alone (to precede the writing on my novel, hence, would meditate and come up with a concept) or with my husband (to have the honeymoon that we haven’t had yet). I do not have a destination in mind even though the location should have an element of water (beach or pool).
  5. To be able to walk around freely – Now, this wouldn’t have been on my bucket list a few weeks ago but due to what the world is currently facing, walking freely, breathing good air and going wherever you want to go to without thinking of what you are inhaling can be on a bucket list. Can’t it?

This post is the second of the 21-day lock down blogging challenge asking bloggers to list five items on their bucket list.

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Valuable Life Lessons – What Acquiring a Driver’s License taught me

I want to get very personal. This post is motivated by a promise I made to God before I passed my driving test for a license earlier this year. The issue of acquiring a driver’s license may seem quite trivial but to me, it is a testimony of God’s goodness because this is after several attempts.

I started taking driving lessons way back in 2015. I did acquire the skill somehow but when I took the test, I missed the pass mark by two points. I was sad. I promised myself I was going to re-sit for the test but I never did. I packed driving to the side and went about my business. A lot happened and I gave up driving entirely.

This year, with the pressure that I faced (mostly from my husband) I took up the challenge to acquire a driver’s license. My husband attempted to remind me of how to move the car, but we always ended up arguing and stopping the lessons. The idea of going to a driving school again appealed to both of us and that was how I found myself taking all of the lessons once again.

The good news in all of these was that I started to feel more confident sitting behind the wheels. The fear I initially had when I began driving four years ago had dissipated but the new challenge was acquiring the license. The time came for me to take the theoretical test and when I did, I missed the pass mark by a point. Once again, I failed.

Of course I was disappointed in myself. I questioned God. I questioned myself. I questioned the whole process of acquiring a driver’s license in Ghana. I heard several stories too. Very negative ones of people who had attempted the tests on numerous occasions but always failed. I was encouraged or rather discouraged by someone in the license acquisition space to forget the test and bring some money for the process to be expedited.

“Most people who fail this test the first time do not pass. Just give up,” she said.

I told her I was going to give her suggestion a second thought and that if I failed the second (or third time) I would get the said amount of money and forget about acquiring the licence ‘legally.’

That was how I found myself re-sitting for the drivers’ license exam for the third time in my life. I changed strategies. I read but not as I did with the previous two. I prayed and relaxed, and this time, I got the exact pass mark. It was one of the best days of my life because it had taken me four long years (that could have gotten me a degree 😂😂). I had also proven the naysayers wrong and did not have to bribe my way through the process. I was legitimately acquiring a license.

What is the import of this post? This is to fulfill my part of the bargain and the promise I made to God of sharing my long and difficult experience of acquiring a license with readers of the blog. To me, it’s a testimony and I am not exaggerating. Secondly, this is to motivate anyone who has been trying hard to do things that people do quite easily. Logically, it may be challenging but note that all things are possible with God. The task may seem arduous. You may feel like giving up but don’t listen to yourself and don’t allow people to discourage you. You can do it too!

PS: I have failed in my attempts at so many things – in examinations, in job searches and other applications, etc. I think I have mastered the act of getting up strong after failures. If you are seeking someone who understands your situation, I believe you should be speaking to me. My email address is christianblogghana@gmail.com Let’s get talking!

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On Keeping One’s Virginity for the Wedding Night

Facebook groups are becoming popular and an easy way of wasting ones time killing boredom. Different topics are discussed by individuals from all walks of life and people seem very comfortable sharing their opinions quite freely. A question I pounced on in one of the groups read:

The comments underneath the post varied and you’ll be shocked (or not shocked) at the reactions. Majority simply downplayed the importance of keeping one’s virginity. A guy remarked,

“Why should I waste my honeymoon breaking the virginity of my wife. I want to enjoy and not be hearing moans of pain,” 🤷🏾‍♀️

A lot of women also commented they would like to see, know and ‘taste’ their husbands to ensure they loved the size and its ‘power’ before saying ‘I do.’ 👀

It looks like the subject of keeping one’s virginity is archaic, has expired and simply lost its significance, judging from the remarks of the commentators.

It is very disheartening to know that this is the point we’ve gotten to – a place where sex is being dished out like mere handshakes and abstinence means NOTHING at all.

Yes, I agree that marrying as a virgin does not guarantee a successful marriage but even if you use logic to analyze, keeping your virginity saves you so much stress.

If you are woman, for instance:

1. You may not need a menses/ovulation calculating app when you’re not sexually active.

2. When your menses delay for a couple of days, you’re not that frightened because you know you’ve done ‘nothing.’

3. Abortion, sexually transmitted diseases and birth controls are subjects that won’t even matter to you.

4. You can dump that guy because you haven’t done ‘anything’ with them. This helps you to choose the right partner.

5. Your conscience is always clear.

For the men (yes, yes, you must keep your virginity too):

1. You’ll not connive with any woman to go commit abortion because you aren’t ready to have that child, thus, not living with the guilt.

2. In case she keeps the pregnancy, you’ll not be forced to marry her.

3. Your judgments are also not clouded when it comes to selecting a life partner. You can drop her if she does not meet your criteria.

4. Sexually transmitted diseases, birth control methods are not your worries. You’re indeed a ‘free’ man till you get married.

Don’t allow the world to make you believe that keeping your virginity/abstinence means nothing. What is more beautiful than keeping yourselves for each other till after the marriage ceremony.

The Bible even admonishes us that we shouldn’t deceive ourselves because we’ll definitely reap whatever we sow. Freely dishing out sex to everyone will definitely come with its consequences.

If we (both men and women) would stick to what the Bible has instructed, most of the issues we face in our marriages concerning our sexuality, including, making comparisons with our husband and a previous sexual partner will not even come up. Both of you will enjoy your ‘naivety’ and learn what works best.

If you are at a crossroad, trying to decide whether you should keep your virginity of not, take this from someone who abstained, GUARD IT. It’s worth the wait and will save you a lot of trouble. For those who have lost it for whatever reason, don’t be sad and bitter, you can still protect what you have. If you think it’s a challenge keeping it, the Holy Spirit is always there to help you. Let Him know what your difficulties are. He’ll direct you.

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2019: To Make Plans or not to Make Plans

It’s another new year and the debate on whether to make plans or resolutions has started (as usual 🤷). I have been on both sides before. There have been years where I had nothing on paper because I believed God had the ultimate plan for my life. I was ‘comfortably living out’ Jeremiah 29:11 😊

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Of course, God was the master planner and so what was my role? Nothing much. Just acting out His plan and in those years, I really had nothing to show on 31st December. There were other years that I wrote my new resolutions on sheets of papers that I never bothered to look for. Those years were equally ordinary but last year, I did something very different that worked and in 2019, I am building on it and that is what I am going to share with you.

At the beginning of 2018, I wrote down what would define a successful year for me on a whiteboard which was strategically placed close to my bed. That board also served as a planner for this blog and the delight that came with checking out those milestones was amazing. I always had a broad smile whenever I crossed out my ‘little’ successes.

I had my overall goals for the year written at the top and at the bottom were monthly plans as well as objectives for this blog. For instance, after I read a book and conducted a review for the blog, I crossed that out. When I planned to interview people for the blog and I successfully executed it, I crossed that out. Those moments felt like big achievements for me and I never failed to thank God and also pat myself at the back. They weren’t easy to do and they came with a lot of sacrifices but the joy of crossing and updating them monthly made it fun.

This year, my plans are even more elaborate. They have been grouped under several headings including personal, career, Christian life, blogger among others because I am living out Habakkuk 2:2,

Then the LORD told me: “I will give you my message in the form of a vision. Write it clearly enough to be read at a glance. 

I am going to lean on God’s grace and also put in my effort because I know His plans will reign supreme, therefore, I will keep communicating with Him to ensure we are on the same page. Note, Proverbs 19:21 says:

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

My little advice: Don’t leave this year to chance. If huge organisations are setting S-M-A-R-T goals and targets and achieving them, how much more your personal life? God would love to see you succeed. When Elisha in 2 Kings 4 went to the widow’s house, he asked her what she had in her house and she responded:

“Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”

The jar of oil served as a channel for the widow’s blessings. Talk to God regularly and let Him know what you have in your ‘house’ and heart in 2019. Create that plan. Place it somewhere visible and work on achieving them and that could be the conduit for your blessing. I recently read a post on Facebook about a man who created a 10-year educational plan when he only had a Diploma. He did not have the funds readily available but worked on the plan nonetheless and currently has a PhD. Isn’t that amazing?

Remember to engage with God constantly to ensure you are on the right path and 2019 will not be an ordinary year like previous ones.

P.S: Happy and Blessed New Year from us to you. Those following our other social media platforms have seen this appreciation note and here is yours:

Thank you 😘

It promises to be an exciting year for the blog and if I were you, I will keep telling others about it.

Happy New Year. May this year bring all that you’ve been praying for in Jesus’name! 😘😘😘

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