Set apart in different centuries, Francine Rivers tells a story of two women who were related but had never met, yet, shared a similar experience. Both women, during certain periods of their marriages, had difficulties accepting the dreams/directions of their husbands. The author must be commended for doing an awesome job of weaving the two different stories in an engaging way, leaving the reader with no choice than to keep at the almost 500-page novel.
Immediately I picked the book, I could sense how the story was going to turn out. I somehow knew Sierra’s relationship with her husband wasn’t the best. What husband accepts a new role in another organisation, in a different State without discussing it thoroughly with the wife and children? Just imagine yourself waking up to the news of your husband or close relative selling your house, in the neighbourhood you’ve lived in all your life and resettling the entire family to another side of the planet because of his new job. No prepping or orientation was conducted but that same person requires you to jump with excitement to the unexpected news with the excuse that he’s mentioned this subject once. (Really? Alex. Really? )Right then, I could smell a self-centred husband considering his needs, dreams, and ambitions as paramount to everyone’s. Whatever happened to proper communication in a marriage? I guess these weren’t in Alex’s thoughts since he saw Sierra as a mere housewife who had no ambition.
But Sierra gradually became a strong force later in the story and I rooted for her when she decided to pick her life up, reject monies from her husband and welcomed her independence. I loved how she transformed from the lady who always blurted out her opinion on issues to someone who paused, thought through her words and the likely implications they may have before she uttered them. To me, the husband deserved more than what was meted out to him by Sierra, in the closing pages. How the story ended was somehow expected, maybe something more tragic or dramatic would have made the book more thrilling and different but in all, it was a good book.
I felt there were some pertinent lessons in there for every Christian, particularly, for those who are married and those seeking to get married. It makes you realise the importance of the God-factor in every marriage and lays emphasis on the role of communication in every relationship. Have you or your family taken a drastic decision which has had a seemingly terrible toll on your life? Then you need to read Francine Rivers’ Scarlet Thread. It will help lessen the burden and make the change bearable.
If you read my post last week, you’d notice I mentioned The Scarlet Thread was my first Christian novel, therefore, if you’ve read any books in this genre or you know of other great authors I should look out for, please drop the titles in the comment box. Thanks!
Planning and pulling off a wedding on a limited budget is very easy. Wrong. It is one of the most challenging things I have done in my life. I know most people reading this will share similar sentiments if only they were on a limited budget 🙂
I had to use the creative juices running in my veins to pull a simple but spectacular event. I first subscribed to Pinterest. It was one of the most important resources I used during that period. From wedding dresses to hairstyles to accessories to decor to ideas on how to cut down on cost in fact, everything can be found on Pinterest. It’s simply awesome. The app also allows you to save the ideas and you can refer to them easily. One vendor was awed at my ideas and I felt I had indeed challenged her.
Another important resource is Instagram. Instagram is quite resourceful too. It gives you the opportunity to view the works of vendors and allows you to connect with them. Although Instagram gives you more ‘local’ ideas, I always felt pressured when I used that app. Why? Because I could feel the silent competition. It looked as if people were ‘battling’ to be featured there. They either copied someone entirely or totally had to come up with something different in order to be featured. I was not surprised at myself when I unfollowed all the wedding vendors and pages immediately after my wedding ceremony. My advice to those who use Instagram for ideas is that you should have your own ideas and not worry whether your photos get featured on these pages or not. Work within your budget and search for vendors who will be willing to work with what you have. You do not necessarily have to go for vendors who have made names in the industry.
Apart from these two social media platforms, I also read a lot. There are several articles, blog posts on the subject of organizing a wedding. Just google them. I did not only depend on what people had to say about weddings or what I knew about weddings but I decided to do things differently and be a source of inspiration to people.
Another resource is using a couple who have gone through the process and done things that you liked when you attended their weddings. These are people we normally take for granted but they have a whole wealth of knowledge you can tap into.
These were what helped me in the planning processes but it’s also very important to pray during the period for direction. Ask God to direct you to the right vendors because during that time, it did look like all the vendors were trying to take their pound of flesh. The terrible ones can really frustrate you therefore, the need to pray.
Don’t be scared to be different. Go against what you are used to and see your wedding as a platform to tell the story about you and your intended spouse. I was amazed at a couple who were getting married and did exactly what their friends had done two months earlier – from their colour theme to their invitation card to the pre-wedding shoot ideas, all was an ‘imitation.’ Don’t do that; there are several things that haven’t been done yet. Explore! Personalize!!
Where did you get your ideas from when you were planning your wedding? Share your thoughts with us.
This post is a continuation of last week’s post. To get in touch with Delali Kumapley-Sogah, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Achieving anything good in this life requires effort and dreams can only come true if you make deliberate effort to achieve them. The same theory goes for relationships. In order to build a long lasting relationship with the opposite sex which can lead to marriage, one needs to work hard at it. Every good relationship requires some amount of effort. If you do not have the time, don’t even start a relationship 🙂
How do you begin a relationship with the opposite sex? One which can lead to a relationship? I once had a conversation with a friend at Senior High School where she admonished me to start praying for my future partner. My reaction was, ” ah! how do I pray for someone I do not even know ?” Of course, at that point in my life, all I cared about was passing my exam and making it to college but my friend gave me a different perspective. I think I prayed for my “future” partner a couple of times. Looking back, I guess that was one of the best advice anyone could give to a friend. If you have not met that partner yet, why don’t you start praying for him or her? It is never too early to do that and the Bible says we should pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Apart from praying for that one, it is important to list the qualities that you wish to see in him/her. Do you not make a list of items you wish to purchase before you go to the market? List all the qualities- physical characteristics, interests, hobbies. Do not forget about the fact that as a Christian you need to select another who shares in your faith. The other factors are only secondary but are equally important. It will prevent you from looking around at other people when you enter into the relationship.
One foundation that is helpful for every relationship is friendship. Friendship is the most crucial factor that can help your relationship progress from one stage to the other. Have regular conversations. Feel free to share your thoughts with each other. Talk about the regular things. When you build up the friendship, you will begin to enjoy each other’s company. You will miss the other person when they are not around. When you are friends, you hardly run out of conversations and the relationship does not get boring. Even when you decide to be quiet around each other, the silence is not uncomfortable. The Bible testifies to that, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 (ESV).
There are other tips that make a Christian relationship work. Tell us what you wish to see on the list…