Oh! I Don’t Want to be a Pastor!!

Most prophecies are received with jubilation, particularly, if it’s in line with the recipient acquiring some wealth or travelling outside of Ghana and making an impact in other areas on the globe. It’s been your dream, perhaps, you’re working on it and most of your friends have begun calling you Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. But all you needed was that powerful prophet who was visiting the church to confirm what you already knew and that was why you left for the service earlier.

You were not shocked when he pointed to you because you sat on the chair closer to the aisle. That Prophet with the loud voice, who sweated profusely and always had a wet towel hanging on his shoulder – the very popular one in the charismatic circles – he signalled again and you made your way towards him. He looked straight into your eyes and you could almost feel his eyes piercing through your soul. He asked you to raise your hands and without hesitation, you did as you were told. He breathed some hot air onto your face and paused, you were anxious to know what he had to say.

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“You. You are are going to be an evangelist,” he said rather flatly. That was when the smile vanished from your face. That was not what you expected.

“Oh, Prophet! But why? Didn’t you see anything different? What about all those business conglomerates that I have had visions of owning?” you asked, your voice almost trembling.giphy (2).gif“I said you are going to be an evangelist. One of the greatest pastors in your generation. You are going to be an apostle, a prophet and everything that has got to do with the work of God,” he said. “In fact, you are going to walk on the sea and raise the dead,” the prophet added, this time even louder for the old woman to wake up and stare.

As you looked on, Mr Prophet dipped his fingers into the anointing oil and smeared a generous amount onto your forehead as if the oil will make his words less difficult to accept.

“Oh! I can’t be a pastor,” you say to yourself.

You can recount the number of times you’ve visited your pastor’s office to see a long queue of members of the congregation who were waiting to have a word or two with him. This implied that a pastor should know at least something about each member of the church in order to make meaningful conversations. Isn’t that what they call fellowship or consultation? When members with marital issues, school fees problems, accommodation challenges, erectile dysfunctions and all, come to see the pastor to get it solved. Just imagine if you have a large congregation with about 2000 members, multiply that by one problem each. Meanwhile, You fall into the category of people who can’t even remember your own birthday without Facebook’s notification, how are you going to remember all the 2000 issues of your church members?

“Oh! I don’t want to be a Pastor,” you say to yourself.

Anyone can drive the latest model of cars at any point in their lives but as soon as the Pastor releases his V8 or Porsche or the sleekest Benz or when he buys a house in one of the estates, he becomes a subject of gossip. Imagine seeing the pastor with his beautiful wife and children at Kempinski or Movenpick or Golden Tulip Hotel having dinner. Even when the pastor wears a ‘non-pointed’ shoe or designer suit or perfume for once to church, the rumours start. We are not interested in how he acquired them – whether he bought them with his money at a discount or they were gifts from his church members, we do not care – in our opinion, a pastor should be ‘modest’ because we give him our tithes.

“Oh! I don’t want to be a Pastor,” you say to yourself.

You have been a witness to news of Pastors losing close members of their families through tragic accidents and have heard rumours of pastors divorcing their wives? They did not have it easy.

“Ehn, he says he is a pastor yet he can’t even manage one wife.” OR

“His wife died in that tragic accident. Why couldn’t he save her if he was that powerful? Or has he gone to use her for ‘juju?” they will ask.

“Oh! Why should I be a pastor?” you ask yourself.

Do pastors even have personal lives? How are they able to manage their family times when they keep moving from one place to the other all in the name of spreading the gospel? That slay queen you’ve been dating. Yes, the popular one in the squad who is the daughter of a preacher. She has promised not get involved with anyone who has pastoral ambitions because she knows the experiences of her mum. How are you going to break this prophecy to her?

Just observe how pastors are trolled on social media when they wade into politics? Even when pastors become quiet in a particular political era, the people simply make fun of that. Now, there seem to be journalists, bloggers or spies in every church. Just wait till a pastor says something which does not sink too well with the people and he will either be quoted or misquoted. Let a pastor, under God’s direction, ask for a certain seed from members of the congregation. ‘That pastor die be that.’ He is going to be in the trends for days and weeks. Woe betide you if you decide to defend a pastor who is being trolled on social media.

Do you see why I don’t want to be Pastor?

© picasion.com_9CWp

Glossary

Juju: Black magic

Chilling: Enjoyment

That Pastor die be that: The pastor is in trouble.

Motherhood – My Story

When I was ‘diagnosed’ of pregnancy in 2016:

  1. I was surprised.😯  I didn’t realise getting pregnant could come that easy for me. I could count the number of times I had had sex since I got married in December 2015 and I was certain it was not up to 50 times, so how did I get pregnant so quickly?
  2. I was disappointed. 😞I had planned out my year and that included going back to school and combining that with my job. Secondly, I had assured my friends I wasn’t going to get pregnant in my first year of marriage so how come?
  3. I was scared.😩 Who am I to be a mother? What are the theories of motherhood? What were the characteristics of good mothers? I had a lot of questions but no answers, initially. I was unprepared.

“Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain—your life will never be the same.” – Catherine Jones

My husband was at his supportive best, answered most of the questions I had medically, and referred me to one of the best (in opinion) gynaecologists. During our first meeting, the gynaecologist encouraged me to be happy because I had no idea of what other women had to endure just to have babies. That statement got me reflecting, I felt I had been ungrateful for something as beautiful as the opportunity to bring life into the world. I started seeing my pregnancy in a new light and considered the best ways to make the most out of the situation.

I began reading and researching and of course, Pinterest (my favourite social media platform) and Baby Centre (app) were very resourceful and they cleared most of the misconceptions I had about childbearing. I spoke to other young mothers and there was a similar theme running through their conversations – Yes, delivering the baby was painful but an experience every woman needs to go through. Probably, the nine-month gestation period was designed by God for us to accept our new state and make preparations for the new addition. I made some adjustments to my career in order to combine schooling with motherhood (blog post for another day) and God has been faithful.

By God’s grace, my pregnancy experience was problem-free. No weight gain, no sicknesses, small tummy size and I could walk very well. Fast-forward to the delivery day, I had read so much about the process and I was certain I was going to sail through. I knew labour was painful but breathing through it gave you relief and that was going to be my strategy. When the labour started, my strategy was working perfectly until the process was augmented. That was when the pains switched from first to fifth gear. It was P-A-I-N-F-U-L and U-N-B-E-A-R-A-B-L-E. 😂 That level of pain is simply out of this world and for 12 hours, my body had to go through that to bring a 3KG baby girl into the world. There is a popular notion that when you see your baby, you forget about the pain. Well, my body didn’t forget about the pain. I felt traumatised and abused after going through that experience and I could barely sit up to touch my little girl. Before my delivery day, I had planned to dress my baby in a white dress, swaddle her nicely and take selfies when she was handed to me but, after what my body went through, I could hardly remember any of those plans. I’m not even certain who went into the suitcase to give the stuff for the baby to the midwives. When I saw my baby, she was already dressed in orange ‘welcome’ clothes (probably selected by her father)😁. Thank God for her father who was present throughout the delivery process and offered all the help.

When women get pregnant, we probably believe we’ll be free after the delivery process but, that is one of the biggest misconceptions ever. The delivery process is actually the baptism into the ‘new’ life. There is absolutely no rest even if you have help, you still have to breastfeed and adjust your sleep pattern to accommodate the little ones who want nothing but comfort (blog post for another day).

Before I became a mum myself, I thought Mothers Day was overhyped but after I experienced what I experienced and I’m still experiencing, I feel mothers are not even celebrated enough. In fact, every day should be mothers’ day because the job is tough and the sleepless nights, numerous. The job description includes being a cleaner, a nutritionist, an entertainer, a clown, a cook, teacher and any other role prescribed by the baby.

 “Birth is a mystery. Words are not enough.” – Marie O’Connor

Let me take this opportunity to celebrate all mothers because the role is a challenging one. To women who do not have biological children but sacrifice to make others comfortable, we say Ayekoo. And to mothers who have children with special needs, you are also doing brilliant jobs and we celebrate you today.

As a society, is it possible to ask us to stop questioning married couples on when they intend to have children? Childbearing is a choice, therefore, please stop putting people in uncomfortable situations when they have to keep explaining themselves to you. You have no idea of what their plans entail nor are you aware of what they are going through. The pressure you give may push them to do stuff in their power just to have babies and that could be deadly.

Motherhood is an amazing journey which never ends and to all the women giving lives and hope to people, we say a big thank you.

 

True Story: When Favour did not Receive Favour

“I do not have anything to lose,” Favour thought. “God is probably giving me a second chance. Besides, I am only on a short contract with this organisation.”

Those were Favour’s thoughts when he received the job description from one of the managers of the organisation. In 2012, he had attended an interview with this company but he was not offered the job. When the managers called him the second time to re-apply for the same position, Favour was beside himself with so much excitement. This was going to be his second try and probably his final job application.

Favour knew how well the company paid its employees, not to even mention the trips and allowances which came with working there. He could not keep himself from imagining how his life was going to transform when he finally reports to the office. Before that, the Human Resource manager had also asked him to forward his latest Curriculum Vitae (CV) and cover letter. Favour felt special when an interview date was forwarded to him immediately he submitted his CV and cover letter.

During the interview, he did put up a splendid performance. Favour recalls how the Manager kept nodding at every sentence that came out of his mouth. To him, the questions were simpler compared to the other interviews he had attended. He never doubted the position was going to be his.

After the interview, he could not help but reminisce over the entire experience. He tuned in to his favourite Christian FM station as he sipped on the bottle of fanta he had bought from the shop. This is called ‘celebrating victory ahead of time.’

“I can tell there is victory ahead. Somebody is about to hear the best news ever,” the preacher on the radio said. “Can I hear someone shout a loud Amen.”

This must be the Holy Spirit speaking to me, Favour thought. He did shout his largest Amen as he made a quick trot and ended up somersaulting in his bedroom. He jumped three more times and was completely out of breath when he finally walked to sit on his bed. This preacher is indeed a man of God. He made a mental note to capture his contact details and probably sow a seed into his ministry when he is employed in the company. Indeed it is not flesh and blood that had revealed his enormous victory to the preacher.

The days following the interview were one of the longest ever experienced by this young man. He kept praying, trusting and believing that indeed, his miracle was knocking on his door. He had earlier told his mum about the job and she was also trusting and praying with Favour.

On the fourth day, after constantly checking his smartphone for updates or email from the organization, Favour decided to include a fast to his daily routine. He remembered an aspect of a sermon which was preached on the radio the other day in Daniel 10:13, where Daniel had been praying but the prince of the Persian kingdom kept resisting him for twenty-one days, thus, his prayers going unanswered. This scripture pushed Favour to pray some holy ghost crazy prayers which could last for about three hours. His shirt was always drenched in his own sweat whenever he finished praying those prayers.

That was the routine for Favour for 14 days. He barely touched his meals which were prepared by his mum. All he wanted was a phone call confirming his appointment in that company.

On the 15th Day, the heavens smiled on him when his phone finally beeped notifying him of an email from the company. The logo of the company was unmistakable. His heart flipped out of excitement while he clicked on the email.

“Dear Favour. This email is to inform you that the interview panel has decided to select another candidate for the Business Development Manager Position. We are sorry….”

This is a true story which was shared by one of our readers. Favour is seeking your response to what he should do next. Remember to leave your views and remarks in the comments box.